On This Week

OK, I'm back. Miss me? I was in Dallas for training this week. Good class. But that still doesn't quite make up for the fact that I had to travel.

Traveling for work is like kissing your sister. If I have to fly somewhere, I'd much prefer it not be for work. Don't get me started on flying though, humans have no business being 35k feet in the air in a fiberglass tube. I don't believe in God, but if I did I'm pretty sure He would say " dammit you stupid humans, I made gravity for a reason. Stay...Down...There!"

My wife had to listen to me rant about the men and their baggage. In the airport, all the men have a rolling bag that is literally 2 inches on either side from being called a large suitcase, and a laptop bag that is literally 2 inches on either side from being called a large suitcase. And then they get pissed when it takes a half an hour extra to board the plane. Well, you focktard, let me explain it. You and all your cohorts took up all the overhead space with all your oversized carry-ons. Now the other half of the plane have to play peek-a-boo with all the overhead bins until the flight attendants get red-in-the-face-pissed and make them gate-check their oversized carry-ons. And now we're late. Well, we would have been but God was very mindful of this and he invented the tailwind.

On Netflix vs. Blockbuster

I was a loyal, OK somewhat loyal (I took a couple breaks), subscriber to Netflix for 4 years. As time passed, it seemed like their turn-around time was getting worse and worse. I remember being in awe when I signed up, because I had three movies the very next day, I kid you not. In the first year or so, it was almost like a game, to see how many movies I could watch in a month. I had calculated that I needed to watch, on average, about 5 movies a month in order to just break even (as compared to typical new release fees from Blockbuster). I was squeezing them for quite a bit more than that.

After that though, I stopped being so anal about the turnaround time, and we just watched them when we had time and didn't think much of it. We got pretty good delivery time, but we just weren't watching a lot of movies. So, we coasted for a couple years. Then we moved to Columbus, which apparently confused and angered Netflix, because they were consistently forgetting to send us any movies. I would literally drop a movie off at the post office, and get its replacement in about 7-8 weekdays, pretty much just shy of 2 weeks. So my turnaround basically quadrupled. Awesome. Was I being throttled?

A couple months ago I decided to try Blockbuster, and I'm glad I did. They don't have the turnaround issues, they pretty much have the same selection, I get a free game rental each month, it's the same price, and you can take them back to the store and get a free movie in return. The only problem I've had with them so far - three discs have been shipped completely cracked in half. I still think it's amazing that neither of these places use plastic cases to ship DVDs. If anything, it's hard keeping track of all the flipping movies. Let's say you take 2 movies back, now you have one online movie, two in-store rentals. Two days later, the next 2 online movies get shipped, now you have 3 online + 2 in-store. Do we have the time to watch 5 movies? Can I always remember when the 2 in-store ones are due back? No, that's why I joined an online service in the first place, so I didn't have to pay late fees...!

Bottom line: both Netflix and Blockbuster shipped from Atlanta, yet somehow my Netflix turnaround time was 3-4 times longer than Blockbuster. Netflix couldn't either; I asked them once. I did appreciate Netflix's Friends feature, and not to mention the 4 years worth of ratings. But I'm just not that patient. When the wife gets hooked on a show and has to wait almost 2 weeks to watch the next episode...well, they have a saying in the South - "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".

On an Excessive Amount of Electronics

Currently as I type this, I can look around this game room and see the following electronic devices:

• computer
• speakers
• modem
• router
• printer
• phone
• Vonage router
• xbox
• xbox 360
• lcd tv

That's on one outlet. Excessive? *shrug*

On another single outlet in the living room we can find:

• tv
• vcr (what a dinosaur)
• tivo
• wireless adapter
  
• dvd player
• receiver
• cd player
• and a lamp

That's bad, but keeping up with all these toys online is another thing. On a monthly basis, I get billed for Vonage, Tivo, Blockbuster Online, Yahoo Launchcast (my station), LaLa, and sometimes Audible when I need a new audiobook. Annually there's things like Xbox Live and IGN Insider (for the guides), not to mention memberships, donations, crap like that. All of this, just to maintain certain pleasures, hobbies, interests, etc. or in the case of Vonage, just to avoid having to flush away $20 extra a month in lieu of a landline.

Oh and let's not even get started on all the websites we have to register for. Say what you will, but there's something to be said for Microsoft's Passport idea.

On Indebtedness

This kind of goes along the same vein as my last post, about my philosophy on the work-life balance; similar, but different. But my epicurean tendencies do spill over into most other areas of my life. Here is another example: debt and the many faces of indebtedness. It's obvious that someone so selfish would be an impulsive shopper and have a complete lack of self-control when it comes to buying something s/he wants, rather than needs. Guilty!

But again, here's my justification, and I think this might clarify my self-image instead of being painted as a selfish, egotistical, epicurean. I think these words about sum it up: fatality, mortality, "death and taxes". Religious/spiritual beliefs aside, whether there is or is not an afterlife is irrelevant. To throw away your life on this earth because you believe there is an afterlife is stupendously idoitistical. That's like saying "you know what, I'm going to just beat the hell out of this car, because I'm getting a new one in 3 years anyway." Who says that?

So, now that we have proven the relevance of living this life, as opposed to hedging bets on some future one, we can begin to establish that it's important to do it right. Live it up! Here's an example: why wait and save up $50 every paycheck for that new iPod until you have $300 saved to go buy it. Just charge it, and pay it back $50 out of every paycheck, and you know what, you get to play with your new iPod for the next 6 paychecks instead of pining for it. If you're going to buy something anyway, what's the flipping difference? Yeah sure, you pay a little interest, but big deal. Obviously I'm not condoning going out and buying all sorts of stuff you don't need and carrying a lot of debt, but I don't see anything wrong with satisfying your immediate obsessions, in moderation.

So, I have a bit of debt. So what. I'm happy. I'm not going to go to bed at night and get all insomniac because I have so much debt. I'm not going to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every day for lunch when I could go have the #8 at Taco Bell. I haven't done my time, worked my way up the ladder, working at crap jobs like this one, just to starve myself, or waste my time cutting coupons or waiting for sales, just so I can pay off a little more debt each month. I figure if you want that new laptop bad enough that you are willing to go into more debt to acquire it, and you can afford the additional payments, then I say go for it. You're going to get it anyway, why wait, why deprive yourself now? The only thing I don't like about this philosophy o' mine is keeping track of the payments I have to make to different lenders; I do have a bad tendency of being a few days late all the time. Luckily most have a 2-month period before they'll report you to the credit bureaus, or my 700 credit score would look more like a GPA.

On Forty Hours

Usually about twice a day I feel guilty about being a slacker at work. Right at noon, and right at five because that's right about the time I cut out while everyone else is still fighting right on. What a bunch of troopers. I envy them. Their dedication. Their fortitude. I have more important priorities - two in particular: 1) getting the bloody 'ell away from there as fast as I can, and 2) doing it as quick as possible to maximize my free time.

Whatever I was working on at five will be there in the morning. But I'll never have another chance to relax and enjoy that particular evening my way in my entire life. You get to experience each evening one time. That's it. And I'll be damned if I'm going to ruin it staying late every night. It messes with my whole schedule - exercise, tennis, dinner, the dogs, entertainment, quality time with my wife, my Xbox, the whole nine. These are key ingredients to my evenings and quite frankly, work just doesn't fit on that itinerary.

It's selfish I know. Horribly selfish. But I'm an epicurean. It's what I do, it's who I am. It defines me. Pleasure before work. That's the rule I live by.

Don't get me wrong, if I'm needed at work, I'm there; and I won't complain about it. But I set that priority, no one else. That's another rule I live by. I don't like it when my time is managed by someone or something else. During this project I'm on right now, early on people would schedule meetings from 5-7pm at night, and you know what I would do?...accept the meeting invite (just in case it did turn out to be an important meeting), then leave at five anyway, or go for a few minutes and say "Look, y'all don't need me. I gotta go let the dogs out."

Now, let's say I enjoyed my job. Then it's a little different of a story. Because then the line between work and pleasure would blur and the actual office-departure becomes less of a priority. But, I don't (enjoy my job), so that line between work and pleasure is not so fine, in fact it's quite thick and blatant; it's the exact opposite of fine.

On Decisions

How do two married introverts make decisions? One might think that they do so maturely and analytically, and talk it out. Some might revert to rock-paper-scissors in a pinch, in our house we play "pick a number". For example, Friday night we were debating where to go to dinner, and we had it narrowed down to three choices: Mikata (our favorite hibachi/sushi place), this new hibachi/sushi place that just opened, and the new Red Robin "gourmet" burger chain that just opened. So of course, being the mature 30-something couple that we are, I scrambled the three choices in my head and told my wife to pick a number between one and three. The order for the first go was New Hibachi-Mikata-Red Robin and my wife picks #2. When I told her Mikata, she said "wait, you know I always pick #2, use different numbers".

So I shook them up in my head again (which is hard for me being an analyst and not an abstract/spatial type of person, you know; heaven forbid had there been a fourth choice I would have screwed them all up in the time it took her to choose): Mikata-New Hibachi-Red Robin as 4-5-6. She picked #4. When I told her Mikata, she said, quite unenthusiastically, "oh OK". So, I said something to the effect of look, two of our restaurants on the list are new, one is old. So do you want to go try a new restaurant or an old one, that will narrow our choices down. She said new. OK, throw out Mikata. So then it became hibachi vs. burger joint, which ultimately made our decision for us because there is never a wait at a hibachi joint, and (contrary to popular theory) there will always be a looooong-ass wait at any new chain restaurant in Columbus Georgia. The natives here are nothing if not predictable. They like chain restaurants, Wal Mart, and running right through red lights and sitting there picking their nose when it turns green.

So ultimately, the "pick a number" thing was useless, but it at least gave us a starting point. It helped just to pick a place and then our gut reaction will tell us whether or not we really wanted that or if we had our heart set on something else. But often times it's just that first pick that is the hardest.

We were in the cereal aisle in Publix the other week and we were doing "pick a number" and an old lady walked by and said "you guys must be young". She said some other things too but I can't remember exactly, but in talking with her she was just flummoxed that we were as old as we were and playing "pick a number" to make decisions. OK so we wouldn't do that if we were, say, buying a house or deciding on where to live. But Frosted Flakes or Fruit Loops? Perfect. What movie to go see? Perfect. Tombstone pizza or leftover spaghetti? Perfect!